Nonchalant Christmas Expecations

It's three am and I am still wide awake and still feeling like a kid on Christmas morning with joy and excitement. I am in my parents' new home and I just love it so much. I thought it might be weird not going back to the home I remember for the past 27 years, but this new home already has so much warmth and love within it. It is eager to make memories and share joy and laughs and kisses and hugs. 

 As I look back on 2013 with just under 6 days to go in the year, I am truly in awe by everything I experienced and took part in. I knew 2013 would be different and in most realities, I am a very optimistic person, but this year superseded every hope and dream I could have imagined. 

I remember on New Year's Day I wrote out my goals, my desires, my expectations, and I even nonchalantly wrote down a few cities I wanted to visit on my so called "Bucket List." I said I wanted to lose weight and get healthier, I wanted to visit Chicago, get my passport and leave the country. I wanted to see New York at Christmas and I wanted to pay off my credit cards. I even scribbled down that I wanted to go to Hawaii but figured that wouldn't happen for at least 5 years. When I say I wrote cities and goals "nonchalantly," I mean it with every breath in my body. It was kind of a, "Okay, let's see what happens this year" type of journal. My heart was set on Hawaii to see my childhood best friend but NYC at Christmas was like the cherry on top of your favorite sundae and I got BOTH and Chicago! Oh and even managed to pay off my credit cards. ;) 

I'm an emotional person. I cry and laugh at about everything, good or bad. It's who I am. And when I walked into Bryant Park on December 13th, I knew my dreams had come true thanks to a very dear, sweet friend of mine. I knew that on December 15th at about 6:47 in the morning, in the middle of Rockefeller Plaza, that one of the deepest desires of my heart had been fulfilled. I had dreamt of this moment and imagined this trip for years. I am so humbled to have such a sweet friend, think of me to tag along on her trip to NYC. She'll never know how big of a place she holds in my heart.

I sat in an Irish bar in New York City with one of my friends from college and laughed and sang and laughed some more until 2 in the morning. The kind of laughing in which your stomach hurts the next morning from just catching up on old times. We took ridiculous amounts of selfies and sang "Free Fallin" at the top of our lungs with no shame. It was in that moment, that I realized, this is what memories and life are all about. We were who we were and we didn't care a single thing about what anyone else had to say right then. We were honest and transparent and good or bad, we knew and saw it all within one another. It's amazing what happens when you step out of your comfort zone a thousand miles away. 

I reflect on the friendships that I made this year and the people that came into my life. The people you meet and think to yourself, how in the world did I go 27 years without you? Those people that have changed my life for the better and who keep me accountable in ways they'll probably never know or understand. 

Moving into a new home with new roommates and sharing the holidays together. This year, was the first year that I was not home on Christmas Day. My flight got rescheduled twice and then finally cancelled and you know, if we are being honest, I really always wondered how I might handle a situation like this.. I assumed I would get angry and go off on the ticket lady, but standing at the check-in, I knew it was out of her control as much as it was out of mine. I am sure she hated seeing me cry and even the kid before me who was flying home to surprise his parents to say he was coming home to surprise them, just about 13 hours later than expected. But I felt peace and calmness come over me. I spent the day with the puppies and my roomies and my roomie's family, and I must say, though it wasn't Christmas with my family in Michigan, it was one of the most beautiful memories I'll remember. 

I don't know many people who can say that they feel like they have family wherever they live outside of their home state. I mean they have best friends and know the parents, but to truly feel like you have family that would give and do anything for you, it is an overwhelming, reassuring feeling of knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be. I still get asked at least twice a week why I love Oklahoma and it always comes back to the people that I have met that have turned into family. 

Last week my Pastor preached on families and I don't think it was by chance, especially the week before Christmas. But it is true, we are in God's family. We are his sons and daughters. His Kings and Queens. That might sound too cliche to you, but it is in the Bible- look it up.  We are made in His image and He has so much that He longs to give to us. I remember writing down Psalm 37 nonchalantly with my dreams for 2013.. It's my favorite scripture and I have prayed and preached it a hundred times, but this year, was like a year like never before. Funny how even in this moment, I never put two and two together, but the first message my Pastor preached this year was, "A Year Like Never Before."

I love how God works and who He is. Not because He gives me things or let's me experience wonderful vacations, but because of His grace, mercy, redemption, and forgiveness. I don't deserve a single good thing that I experienced this year, but God delights in blessing his sons and daughters. It just makes me wonder how writing with purpose instead of being so nonchalant will change 2014. There are no limits, just the restrictions you put on yourself. My best friend that lives in Hawaii asked me tonight what the "2014 Bucket List" looked like and all I could think of, was leaving the country... Who knows where the wind will blow. :) 

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and have faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act upon your behalf.

Psalm 37:3-5