Grace Upon Grace

Why are some things just so hard to let go of? Is it the fear of not experiencing what you felt before, again? The emotions? The moments that took place? The memories made? The friendship that was made, that was then broken? Why does it feel like a punch in the gut and why does the mention of a specific name or event, change your demeanor? Are we afraid that we'll just be alone? That we're not good enough? That we won't get the job or degree? We won't have the family or the dream home? That something about us isn't right and that we might be off balance on some things? Are we afraid of the resentment and the fact that what took place might not ever occur again? What is it that holds us to the past? When I first decided to write this blog, I promised myself that no matter the cost, I would be transparent and I would be real. Nothing irks me more than a two faced, hypocritical person. I'm the furthest thing from perfect and yet every day

I can't believe that it is already July 10 th . I feel like yesterday it was my birthday and Memorial Weekend was 4 weeks away and now 4 th of July has come and gone. I appreciate the beginning of each month because it is a new start, a new chapter, a new page to adventure on to. But I also like to reflect on the previous months and just recall the “fun-exciting-overwhelming-freak out-crazy” moments. The first 6 months of the year were amazing but if we are being honest, it was also very trying. I began to experience feelings that I hadn't felt in quite a long time and it was overwhelming. How I wanted events to play out, didn't happen. And at the end of the day and even end of several weeks, I was just disappointed and felt like my heart was let down. I remember honestly not thinking how I was going to make it through May and June. Disclaimer... do not ever plan TWO vacations, a week a part in which you move in between that week off. You'll go crazy. Well at l

The title of this blog shouldn't come as a shock. I remember checking the weather before I left for Paradise aka HAWAIIIII and calling my friend there, saying “does it really rain everyday?” Her response was yes. Ay yi yi. So to my surprise, it did rain every day. But it wasn't the Oklahoma rain that I have grown accustom to over the years. It was a peaceful, calming rain shower that lasted about 45 seconds and then the sun would come out. Heck, half of the time, the sun was shining as it was raining. This was the first of many beautiful things I saw while on my visit to Hawaii. My friend's family lives on the Marine Base right near Kailua and every morning we would leave base and drive into the mountains. A rainy fog would sit over top of what they came to name the “Moses Mountain.” This was number 2 of beauties. It would appear as though it was about to storm like crazy but nope, just drops of peace. I remember thinking, this is such a true example of our liv