Risk Is The New Safe

“Even when things don't work out, they do. Because in the end, experience is what you get when you didn't exactly get what you wanted. And experience is often times the most valuable thing that you can possess.” - Unknown

This past 4^th of July weekend, I made sure to keep myself from being busy. I left the house maybe 2-3 times in a matter of 4 days and I found myself being absolutely lazy as possible. I say all this to say that sometimes, even when you don't have the over the top weekend at the lake, with hundreds of pictures of friends and family, sometimes it is completely okay to spend those hours on the couch just taking in as much of life as possible.

I have a tendency to say “yes” rather than say “no” more than times than not. And I have realized recently how saying “No” is more important than saying “yes.” There is a difference between being a servant and having a servant's heart. However, in today's society and even in today's church, sometimes you can barely tell the difference.

I think to myself that I have a good life. I have amazing friends. A roof over my head. An extended family that I spend at least 40 hours with a week regardless of the times they annoy or frustrate me or I do the same to them. I have a life I never really dreamed of, yet for whatever reason, it makes all my dreams come true. I'm sentimental when it comes to the summer because it seems as though the most important decisions that I have made throughout my life, have been made in the summer months. Whether it be being dumb as a college freshman and creating relationships that would only damage me, or giving up my life for 5 weeks to be a youth leader at a camp in Fenton, Michigan to which I would come to truly know that I am called into youth ministry, or more importantly moving my life to Ohio.

I often hate my experience in Ohio. I dread it and I cringe to be reminded of the bad memories that I was apart of and yet even the good ones. I am not sure exactly why, I just know I didn't like the person who I was when I was there. I know that's not who I am today but did you ever stop and wish you could erase that one part? 4 years and just act like nothing happened.

I just finished watching the movie “The Vow” and it reminds me of erasing the years. Long story short- yes it is a love story, I had never seen it until today (imagine that), but in the midst of two seconds- 5 years was erased and the character, Paige knew nothing about the life that she had been apart of for 5 years. I often wonder how I might react if I had not of experienced those moments with the people that I spent 4 years with. I want to put Ohio in that box and forget about it, but every where I look, those memories serve a distinct reason as to why I am in Oklahoma.

I recently started keeping more in touch with a certain friend and while I am sure their intentions are not to harm me, is it wrong to just be flat out scared? I mean is that a bad sign? I have come to realize over the past few weeks, the more I push that person away, the more I want them to be apart of my life. The more I want to tell them all about my day and I want to know about theirs. I want their life to be apart of mine and mine apart of theirs. The part of me that doesn't know if it is scared or just flat out having discernment, that's when I need the most guidance because that is the most vulnerable.

I started reading this book by Jennie Allen called “Anything” and 6 chapters in and I am completely humbled. We say everyday that we would give up ______ to get to _________. But what about anything and everything? We say it but do we actually believe and live it? Most of the time no. No, we do not. We might say that we do but what would happen if we actually lived the life that we talk about? What decisions would you make differently? What doors would you allow to shut and what doors would you greet with a smile as they opened in your favor?

There is this app called “Time Hop” and it goes back into all of your social media accounts and it pulls what you posted years before on that same day. In the past three days, my posts over the past two years were: “Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that's the one thing that will require the most from you”, “If it is both terrifying and amazing, then you should most definitely pursue it”, and lastly “I want to live a life without regret. I want to fight. If it were easy everyone would do it. I want to live fully invested and present. I want to make mistakes and the greatest enemy of your dream is common sense. I want to be willing to fail. Risk is the new safe. “

Every day I am reminded of so much more. That every day contains new risk and new dreams. And that the American Dream is really making mistakes, falling and getting back up and falling again. It is making things happen and risking it all because at the end of the day, you only have the present. And if your hands are shaking and you are nervous and you are passionate, and you live a life of purpose- it will only take you to so many more doors. Doors that await my footsteps. Doors of freedom and doors of happiness. Doors that could lead to sorrow but doors that will embrace me and cultivate strength within me. Doors that lead to windows that I will stare out of and watch as dreams unfold and if we are not too careful, we will only be watchers- we won't be the ones making the dreams come true.

If risk is the new safe, then I will play my chips all in.